Saturday, December 24, 2005

Im feeling a little strange today.

For the first time in my life I can't wait to get more spam email.

I plan on writing music, a song cycle - problem is, I need a text for these songs, but I know no poets and am allergic to most poetry. Another problem- I need a poet who would allow me to use their poetry. My approach has been to ask friends and acquaintances about their poetry but this has not resulted in anything usable. Why do so many people my age write banal poems about love and shit? I don’t get it, dont they know that good poetry isn’t about just fluffy, clich├ęd feelings and imagery? Either way, I was looking for poetry that dealt with some concept of the contemporary world, poetry that was meaningful and interesting.

So it dawned on me that I could use the texts from all that spam I keep deleating, day after day, in my email account. Now, through campus email, I am receiving some fucking bizarre spam mail, let me tell you, this aint your normal spam. Let me give you a sample from real emails I have received:

From: Paula Carr (this person probably doesn’t exist, i think they have a name generating machine)
Subject: You should read this:

said breakfast his attack was is to Bezdomny the start interrupted subject to an has sweetly heart please proof you late you Mikhail Ivan green unconvincing issues Now learned In it and anywhere there decides relegated seeing pause the stood Nisan wanted a this suit said breakfast his attack was is to Bezdomny the start interrupted subject to an has sweetly heart please proof you late you Mikhail Ivan green unconvincing issues Now learned In t and anywhere there decides relegated seeing pause the stood Nisan wanted a this suit...


it then just repeats this over and over again. Then another.

From: Omar Link
Subject: You should read this:

of the It will paces was gesture emigre thought his collected writing to a sight whispered powerful terrible later Frenchman truth oil the there the his suddenly Berlioz you Yes was as to hear Our about Library about you a the stranger the pleasure about of the It will paces was gesture emigre thought his collected writing to a sight whispered powerful terrible later Frenchman truth oil the there the his suddenly Berlioz you Yes was as to hear Our about Library about you a the stranger the pleasure about


Berlioz! a musical reference. haHA!

and I’ve received tons others which include quotes from Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary. They dont cite it as such, but i remember the quotes, i read the book. Spammers aint clever enough to write this themselves (but apparently they are very cynical, no surprise there)

Sibil Schmidt
Subject: Penis Growth Patches are here!
No pills, no pumps - Its the Patch
Life would be tolerable but for its amusements. Truth -- An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody's heart. We must become the change we want to see.


and another...


Eveline Boyer
Subject: Male sexual enhancement formula
Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes. The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post. Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success. I think, therefore Descartes exists. While you're saving your face, you're losing your ass.



So, as you can see, this spam is a little... unusual. I figure I’m going to take bits here and there and arrange it into my text for the music. I may not have the singers actually sing this, but its interesting, and would work well for someone to recite it.

Is this a bad idea? either way, im excited for more spam mail, as crazy as that is. I've got a collection going on a word file of all the strange/good ones. What better statement of post-modernity can be made? ... bahahaha.

3 comments:

Jay said...

Take a look and see if Spam As An Art Form helps ...

patty said...

I used to dabble in poetry writing ... I wasn't great, but it was fun (and I did write a Nutcracker poem that kept my pit pals laughing). When I started receiving spam of the sort you are getting I saved a ton of it, planning on turning it into "found poetry". I finally tossed it, realizing it's probably something a ton of people are doing (and, besides, I'm too lazy to even use that to write a poem!). I think what you want to do sounds like a fun idea ... go for it!

Oryx said...

and a Housedog, taught to watch the house. When he returned home after a good days sport, he always gave the Housedog a large share of his spoil. The Hound, feeling much aggrieved at this, reproached his companion, saying, It is very hard to have all this labor, while you, who do not assist in the chase, luxuriate on the fruits of my exertions. The Housedog replied, Do not blame me, my friend, but find fault with the master, who has not taught me to labor, but to depend for subsistence on the labor of others. Children are not to be blamed for the faults of their parents. The Stag in the Ox-Stall A STAG, roundly chased by the hounds and blinded by fear to the danger he was running into, took shelter in a farmyard and hid